Our Adoption Journey with Spencer Blessing

Seven months ago, our lives changed in the most unexpected and wonderful way. My partner Dale and I welcomed a beautiful little boy, Spencer Blessing, into our home and hearts through adoption with PROCARE. Looking back now, it is hard to believe it has only been seven months – in so many ways, it feels like Spencer has always been part of our family.

Our journey into adoption wasn't one we both stepped into at the same pace. Dale was immediately certain that adoption was the path for us; he had an unwavering conviction that this was right. I, on the other hand, was more hesitant. I worried if I was cut out for fatherhood, if I would be able to bond, and if I could provide what a child really needed. Those early uncertainties feel almost foreign now. Today, I cannot imagine life without Spencer's laughter, his stubborn determination, and the way he runs into our arms for hugs. Love has grown in layers – Dale fell instantly, while for me, it unfolded steadily, until one day I realised I was completely, irreversibly in love with this little person.

Settling In and Early Days

Our first few weeks with Spencer were a mixture of awe and adjustment. He arrived with the most radiant smile and happy nature, a child who immediately drew people in. Very quickly, he made himself at home in our family, and it became clear that he trusted us as his caregivers. Seeing his face light up when we walked into a room, or watching him crawl to us for comfort, was the most affirming part of those early days.

At the same time, there were practical challenges to navigate. Spencer came with a few health concerns: an egg allergy, eczema, a dairy sensitivity, and a tendency to sound "chesty." We quickly learned the routines of creams, humidifiers, bath additives, and safe foods. It felt daunting at first, but together we found the right balance. His skin, which once flared and itched, is now healthy and under control. His allergy is managed, his inoculations are up to date, and even teething (with its drool, coughs, and runny nappies) has become something we've learned to handle with patience and humour.

A Happy, Busy Little Boy

Spencer is a child on the move – both literally and figuratively. At just over a year old now, he walks confidently, climbs stairs, and even mimics our gym squats while carrying 1kg weights. He has strong arms, strong legs, and even stronger determination. From opening baby-proofed cupboards to packing and unpacking drawers, he is constantly exploring, testing, and problem-solving.

His appetite is equally adventurous. We've introduced him to a wide variety of foods and textures, and he delights in feeding himself – finger foods are his favourite. "Nana" is his word for food, and he makes sure we know when he is hungry. Independence is at the core of his personality; he wants to try, even if the spoon ends up flicking food across the room more than into his mouth.

Socially, Spencer is magnetic. He is comfortable in groups, adapts quickly to new people, and seems to sense kindness in others. He has favourite people – from the housekeepers on our farm to our gym instructor and his grandmother – and shows his affection openly. At the same time, he is discerning: when new people enter his world, he clings to us first, observing carefully before deciding they are safe. It's a trait we admire – a mix of trust and good instinct.

Routine, Sleep and Growing Together

Like all parents, sleep has been a theme. Some nights were long with multiple wake-ups, but over time we've found a rhythm. Bedtime is around 8pm, with a few wake-ups for quick bottles (he loves his milk), and mornings begin with his cheerful chatter around 7am. Naps are less predictable, especially at crèche, but his energy keeps him going, and he sleeps soundly on the days he is there.

Speaking of crèche, sending him three days a week was one of the best decisions for both him and us. We looked into options of a creche and although some just did not feel right, the crèche we chose is a place full of joy, stimulation, and warmth. He comes home happy, sometimes exhausted, but always enriched by the experience. We see his development leap forward with every week he spends there, from language to play. But it also gives us some time to focus on priorities we sometimes are unable to when he is at home. 

Language is blossoming – he babbles constantly, has a few clear words ("dad", "no", "nana"), and understands more than he can say. He laughs when we chase him with a playful "I'm going to get you!" and he imitates the dogs growling. At the same time, he is learning Afrikaans at crèche and being exposed to Xhosa through our guest farm's head housekeeper and other staff.

Bonding, Attachment and Love

If I had to choose one word to describe these months, it would be attachment. Spencer has woven himself into the fabric of our lives and hearts. He runs to us for hugs, grabs onto our legs when he feels uncertain, and seeks us out as his safe place in every situation. The trust he shows is humbling. He gives affection freely, often just stopping mid-play to hug us or cuddle. Separation can bring tears, but the tears don't last long – he knows we come back.

As for us, we are constantly learning what it means to be his parents. There are moments of tantrums, moments of exhaustion, but mostly there is joy. He has brought laughter, energy, and a new sense of purpose to our home. We say often that we could not have chosen a more perfect child for us. He is, in every way, our Blessing.

Reflections on Adoption

Adoption is, at its heart, about love and belonging. For Dale and me, it has also been about growth – stepping into roles we weren't sure we were ready for, and discovering that love teaches you as you go. Dale's certainty and my hesitation at the beginning balanced each other; today we stand united, marvelling at the gift we have been given.

It hasn't all been easy. The health challenges, the sleepless nights, the teething struggles – they are real. But they are outweighed by the milestones, the "firsts," and the ordinary daily joys of family life. Spencer's laughter, his determination, his affectionate little hugs – these are the things that make us grateful every single day.

We hope that by sharing our story, other families considering adoption can see both the beauty and the reality of the journey. Adoption has not just given Spencer a family; it has made us a family.

Closing

Seven months in, we cannot imagine life without Spencer. He is happy, healthy, loved, and thriving. We are happier, fuller, and better people because of him. Our adoption journey so far has been exactly what his name promised: a Blessing.